Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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