Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
