We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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