do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We are all done wearing pants today
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
