I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
