what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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