belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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