Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
