i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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