im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
