is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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