In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
