Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
