why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My feet surprised me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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