he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So apparently I’m into choking now
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize