wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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