Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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