that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
