You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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