Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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