What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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