There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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