Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize