What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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