i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
