dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
even my farts smell like vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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