nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
false alarm, still single
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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