you guys were way drunker than both of me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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