I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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