Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
