There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
