the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
