Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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