You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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