11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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