Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
