Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
