Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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