I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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