when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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