in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
