i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
