Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
did you just send me my own nude
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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