you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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