Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
