She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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