i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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