I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
