he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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