so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
