She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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