omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
