I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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