i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
