i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize