I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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