Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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