what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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